


You know I love you, right?

by Raghel



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, My First Fanfic, a bit angst, don't hurt me if it sucks, mention of perrie, ziall
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-28
Updated: 2014-01-28
Packaged: 2018-01-10 08:40:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1157520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raghel/pseuds/Raghel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After being informed that Little Mix was coming along the WWA tour, Niall felt like he’s losing Zayn bit by bit and it broke his heart.</p>
<p>or the one Zayn realized how hard this zerrie thing was for Niall and how strong the Irish boy was for him.</p>
<p>(I suck at summaries, sorry.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	You know I love you, right?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is literally my first fic in English, which is not my first language. feel free to tell me the mistakes! it's not beta'd!  
> I just want to write some fluffy fic after knowing Little Mix will be the opening act for the boys' tour and it really made me upset and I am also worried about Niall's knees so this happened.

The phone is buzzing. That was the first thought which formed in Niall’s groggy head, which also hurt and felt eerily heavy. The rational part of his brain attempted to pull the body up from the tangled mess of duvets and sheet to answer the phone on the nightstand. However, his knee protested and the headache seemed to worsen at the act of slight lift of his head, so he decided to just ignore whoever was trying to reach him. Besides, he’s definitely not in the right mood to speak to other people now. Niall huffed at that thought for he felt he should be upset and aggravated about something but couldn’t exactly remember what.

His phone kept buzzing. The caller was annoyingly persistent for sure. Niall forced his eyes open a bit to get a peek from his room. The stain on his pillow caught his attention. _Was he crying?_ His crutches lay far from the end of his bed, sort of looked like someone threw them against the wall and landed where they were. Niall pulled himself up with great effort and leaned against the headboard and pressed his cheek against it which felt cool and slightly helped the ringing in his head. He sighed in content and then finally decided to reach for his phone because despite feeling grumpy himself a small part of him was still worried perhaps it was something really important.

And it did look so as he found out 8 missed calls from Liam, 7 from Harry and over 20 from Zayn. That’s when Niall felt a sudden bleak drop in his stomach. He didn’t know why at first and then it dawned on him what he was and should still be mad at. Then all of a sudden it all flooded back into his head and his chest started to ache with tears stinging his eyes threatening to run down any minute. He wanted to bend his legs and buried his head in the knees to cry even though there was no one here to see. And then he remembered he couldn’t do that for his knees fucking hurt if bent too much so Niall just threw his head against the headboard in annoyance and stared at the grey ceiling in the dim light and willed the tears not to fall but to no avail.

His phone buzzed again next to his hand. Niall thought a moment if he should answer it or not and decided not to be a jerk who ignored calls and got others worried.

It’s Liam. Niall cleared his throat before sliding to answer and uttered Hello. Crap, his voice was grossly hoarse and sounded like someone who cried for hours to sleep, which he in fact did.

“Niall? Thank god you finally picked up. Where are you? You’re not answering calls!” It’s sort of rare to hear Liam’s voice in that way, a little high pitched unlike his usual composed self.

“‘m at my apartment. What’s wrong?” Niall replied even though he got a feeling what this was all about and tried hard to hide the sobbing in his throat but still his voice cracked at the end of the sentence.

There was pause and all Niall could hear is Liam’s suddenly heavy breathing as if he was trying to calm down from something.

And then he said “I’ll come over, alright, Niall?”

That’s just Liam. He knew, he always knew. Whenever things became too overwhelming and messed up for Niall, he could always turn to Liam and talk to him for he always took everything he said seriously, especially when things got hard for him and Zayn, which happened too often recently for Niall’s own liking. His chest tightened at the thought of Zayn so he exhaled heavily trying not to cry again but his body didn’t comply.

When the door lock clicked Niall still lay there against the headboard not moving an inch since he hung up the phone. He had no idea how much time had passed and then Liam appeared in his door frame wearing a grey hoodie and dark blue jeans, his brows deeply furrowed.

“Niall.” He called and Niall turned to look at him in the eyes with a blank expression. Liam sighed lightly, almost inaudible and then he climbed onto the bed and sit next to him. The blonde boy looked like hell, his eye splotched red and puff, cheeks fiery red with tear streaks, his hair disheveled.

“Are you OK?” Liam knew that’s a stupid question but he didn’t knew what else to say because he’d never seen Niall like this, not the Niall he knew. The Niall he knew was always jubilant and loud, body shaking with his boisterous laughter or contentedly humming cheery songs with his fingers stroking the chords of his guitar. Seeing Niall like this incensed Liam and he really wanted to punch whoever was accountable and it infuriated him even more knowing he couldn’t. And then Niall squeezed his eyes shut, covered his eyes with both hands and started crying, all the indifferent façade gone in a second. All of the rage building in his chest vanished, and Liam just reached to Niall and held the sobbing boy in his arms, drawing soothing circles on his back with one hand.

“It’s fine. Let it out, Niall. It’ll be fine.” He mumbled and felt Niall’s heavy breath hitting his neck.

“I am gon--gonna lo--se him, Liam. It’s no--not fair.” Niall whispered between sobbing. He felt so small right now and it broke Liam’s heart. He knew nothing he said could made Niall feel better so he just stayed silent and tightened his embrace on the Irish lad.

“I am gonna get you some water ok Niall?” Liam said. Niall nodded under his chin and loosened the grip on his hoodie. Liam stood up seeing Niall aggressively wiping his eyes and sighed. He went to the kitchen, took out his phone and began to texted Zayn.

_get your ass down here right now. Ni’s apt._

_almost there, damn traffic. how’s he doing?_ It took less than a second for the Bradford boy to text back. Liam grunted in upset and replied.

_just hurry._

Liam returned to the bedroom with a cup of water which was quickly swallowed by Niall. The blonde boy stopped crying even though his eyes were still red and watery. He leaned against Liam and neither of them said a word until another click sounded in the lock. Niall eyed Liam nervously knowing who’s at the door and his breath quickened as the footsteps getting closer.

Zayn stood short at the door to the bedroom and guilt written all over his face once he laid his eyes on his boyfriend. Liam slowly and gently stood up and walked to the door.

“Take care of him.” He said in a low voice when he walked past the raven hair boy, who mumbled thanks and nodded.

Left alone, Zayn approached cautiously Niall’s bed as if fearing moving too fast might trigger something. The boy’s eyes never left him once he came except for two times he tried to wipe his eyes. The Bradford boy climbed into the duvets carefully, seeing no protest from the other one, he leaned closer and cupped Niall’s face with both hands.

“’m sorry.” The raven hair boy whispered. His golden brown pupils locked on the cerulean ones.

“For what?” The Irish boy shut his eyes and inhaled trying not to lose himself again.

“Everything. I am sorry so everything, Niall.” He never sounded so sincere in his entire life and never had so much guilt weaved into the simple sentence.

Hearing his name, Niall reopened his eyes and looked down and murmured, “It’s just too much you know?” Zayn wrapped one arm around the smaller boy’s shoulder and put his head under his own jaw. Niall pressed his cheek against Zayn’s chest as it heaved. It smelled the Bradford boy’s cologne. He missed it and the heat. After the tour finished, he didn’t get to feel that very often for they all went home and he had this major surgery. But he couldn’t do that anymore even during their next tour, not when Perrie would be there. It would be them together, his boyfriend and Perrie. He wouldn’t be able to cuddle with him or act stupidly on stage with Zayn anymore. This might be the last time they got a proper hug. Thinking that, he felt the tears building up again and a sudden anger filled his chest. He pushed at Zayn’s shoulder; the other boy loosened his grip a bit and looked at him curiously.

“I am sick of this.” The blonde boy said in despair and pulled himself up a bit to look at his boyfriend at level. “I am so fucking sick of this, Zayn.”

A look of hurt appeared on the other boy’s face. “I know.”

“No, you don’t!” The anger now felt like going to burst and he had difficulty breathing. “She had you all the time. Don’t you see? She had you on New Year’s Eve. You went to get a tattoo with her. You went to skating with her. You two went to Paris to that fucking Disneyland. And I couldn’t even be with you on your birthday for I needed to prepare for the stupid surgery, to which you couldn’t come with me and I have to go to rehab by myself and it fucking hurts all the time. And now she’s going with us on tour? What’s next? Are you getting married on stage? ” The Irish boy’s chest heaved painfully and tears were running down his red cheeks. He couldn’t go on because his throat hurt like someone scratched it with a knife but he still felt like a beast was trying to tear its way out of his body. _I am going to lose you, why can’t you see that?_ Niall hated himself like this, being so emotional. He knew it’s not Zayn’s fault and the rehab made him really grumpy and annoyed recently. But he can’t. He can’t lose him. With that, he just collapsed onto Zayn’s shoulder and cried his heart out. Zayn held tight on the boy’s small frame, kissing his blonde hair.

“I am sorry, Niall, for everything. I am sorry I couldn’t be with you those times you needed me. I hate that as much as you do. I am sorry you had to go through such shit. Please stop crying, I love you so so much.” Zayn’s voice shaking, it hurt too much seeing the boy he loved in such a mess. It’s usually Niall who comforted him and whispered all those soothing words into his ears when Zayn’s fed up with management’s bullshit, not the other way around. Niall would always hug him smiling and tell him it’d be ok, that they would be ok and nothing could ever come between them. Only Niall could calm him down. The Bradford boy didn’t give it much thought but now he realized it had to be even harder for Niall. He had to sit through all these interviews during which Zayn was asked about his ‘engagement’ and even pretended to enjoy it. He had to put up with seeing his boyfriend and another girl’s photos leased online and those websites preaching how adorable they were. He had to go to the scary and painful surgery alone just because the management forbade other lads, especially Zayn, go with him.

There was a storm roaring in Zayn’s chest, but he couldn’t do anything. He couldn’t go all ballistic and livid as the boy he loved and owed so much was sobbing in his arms. So he made an endeavor to compose himself. He was not good with words as Niall, who seemed always to know the right thing to say to make Zayn feel better. So he decided to try another way.

 

You tell me that you're sad and lost your way  
You tell me that your tears are here to stay  
But I know you're only hiding  
And I just wanna see you

 

Niall lifted his head to look him in the eyes, his ocean blue orbits sparkling with tear. Zayn almost forgot the next line for the Irish boy was too beautiful. He gently rubbed Niall’s cheek with a thumb and Niall leaned close to the contact and closed his eyes, his breath evening out.

You tell me that you're hurt and you're in pain

And I can see your head is held in shame,

But I just wanna see you smile again

See you smile again

 

Niall’s tears stopped flowing down his face, and then he breathed in and opened his eyes to look at Zayn again. He licked once his chapped lips and Zayn looked at him expectantly. And Niall sang

 

But don't burn out

Even if you scream and shout

It'll come back to you

And I'll be here for you

 

His voice was still scratchy but neither of them cared. Zayn curved his lips into a smile and mouthed I love you and then started to sing with his boyfriend.

 

Oh I will carry you over

Fire and water for your love

And I will hold you closer

Hope your heart is strong enough

When the night is coming down on you

We will find a way through the dark

 

“I am sorry about all the drama. It’s just the surgery talking.” Niall smiled sheepishly after they finished the first chorus and scooted even near Zayn (if that’s possible).

“No. you never need to apologize. I am sorry I didn’t understand how hard it was for you.” Zayn pressed a kiss on the smaller boy’s forehead and then his lips. It was just a chaste kiss and nothing too much but they both loved how their lips fitted perfectly for each other and the warmth in between.

They cuddled a little longer and Zayn said, “We will find a way. I promised.” Niall mumbled back and peck a kiss on his neck.

“You know I love you, right?” Zayn muttered.

“I know.” Niall giggled softly at the crook of Zayn’s neck. “I love you, too.”

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading it! love you xx! I would really appreciate comments and kudos if you find this one not really horrible.  
> thanks again!


End file.
